3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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