I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
