Dual....:-)
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
