What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
