Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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