My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
