The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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