If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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