And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
