you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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