garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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