'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
