so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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