I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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