This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
