i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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