and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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