Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
