We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
