Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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