people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
