There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
