I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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