i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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