Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
