I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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