She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
