The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I love having hate sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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