This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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