have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize