I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
