HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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