bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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