So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All the doctor said was why
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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