I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
