Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
