Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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