I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
