What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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