you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
