some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
