Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
