Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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