when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize