I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
