god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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