im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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