go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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