Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We have started to decorate penises.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
