Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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