I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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