Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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