just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
