Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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