Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
