I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
