if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
