I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need water and some morals
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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