You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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