I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
