Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize