I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
