adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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