Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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