Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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