I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
