It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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