where am i from again
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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