Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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