what day is it and did you see me today?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He? As in you personified your dick?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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